A Cowboy's Guide to Life!
- There's two theories to
arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.
- After eating an entire
bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up
until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: when you're full
of bull, keep your mouth shut.
- If you find yourself in
a hole the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
- Never smack a man who's
chewin' tobacco.
- It don't take a genius
to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
- Never ask a barber if he
thinks you need a haircut.
- If you get to thinkin'
you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog
around.
- Don't worry about bitin'
off more than you can chew. Your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n
you think.
- Good judgement comes from
experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
- Always drink upstream from
the herd.
- Never drop your gun to
hug a grizzly.
- If you're ridin' ahead
of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still
there.
- When you give a lesson
in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be suprised if they learn
their lesson.
- The best way to have a
quiche for dinner is to make it up and put it in the oven to bake at
325 degrees. Meanwhile, get out a large T-bone, grill it, and when it's
done, eat it. As for the quiche, continue to let it bake, but otherwise
ignore it.
- When you're throwin' your
weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.
- Lettin' the cat outta the
bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back.
- Always take a good look
at what you're about to eat. It's not so important to know what it is,
but it's critical to know what it was.
- The quickest way to double
your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.
- Never miss a good chance
to shut up.
Author Unknown
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